Peeing on Cars

A few days ago i was outside my house and i had to piss so i decided to do so on my neighbors minivan. i dunno why. teenage angst perhaps? it was like 1 in the morning so i assumed everyone was asleep. halfway through the light turns on the door opens and five people are staring at me. two scared parents and three scared children including one with down syndrome. not that his condition makes the situation much different, im just trying to paint a picture. i hear the mom yell "CALL THE COPS hes stealing the car"

it was an interesting situation. i had to put my thing back in my pants in a way that made it seem as if it had never been out in the first place. i was definetly succesful maybe.

i convinced her i wasnt trying to steal her shitty old minivan. i told her i lived across the street and that my parents had waaay nicer cars than her old, crappy, grey, presumably smelly minivan so theres no chance i would ever steal it. especially after i pissed on it. she wasnt pleased.

Wachowski brothers.

this is nothing against transexual people. i just find it strange that the wachowski brothers (of matrix fame) are no longer the wachowski brothers. larry is now lana so i guess their the wachowski siblings? i think andy's wachowski's (on the right... dressed as a man.. still with a penis.) face says it all.

not that theres anything wrong with that.

music that im ROCKING to right nowish

CHAPTER 1 PART 1 SCENE 1 Page 1

Citizens of tomorrow- Tokyo Police Club
The Heretic- the sound of animals fighting
Girls- death in vegas
karma police- easy star all stars
the angry mob- kaiser cheifs
broaden a new sound- nobody and the mystic chords of memory
du og meg- of montreal
invisible seas- panacea
growin old- pigeon john
only for the night- rx bandits
the hardest way to make an easy living- the streets
Shutup I am dreaming of a place where lovers have wings- sunset rubdown
all fires- swan lake
rocketship- one be lo
life on mars- Seu Jorge
box- tokyo police club
a lesson in crime- tokyo police club
reality check- binary star
torn- natalie imbruglia (duh)


that guy with glasses LOVES IT! me and him are ROCKING against the system!

crying.

i went to see spiderman 3 with ethan yesterday. it wasnt a good movie. the only good part is when peter parker got emo-ey and told eric foreman "brah youre some trash" the real story is that ethan said. and i quote "if kirsten dunst cries im gonna cry, seriously" he was serious. im not sure if im gonna be able to go to another movie with him.



the last movie i went to with him was wildhogs, he didnt cry or even talk about crying. it was a better time, and now... everything has changed.

wildhogs did have ooone funny line :

Dudley Frank: [upon seeing Maggie] She's perfect for me. I wanted to say something funny, but all I could think of was black jokes.

everything else was just John Travolta awkwardly making gay jokes..

WH Grade: D-

balaclava

i think im gonna start wearing a balaclava every single day. 24/7. thoughts?

oh alice.

Souperstar59 (9:21:34 PM): b+?
Souperstar59 (9:21:38 PM): i'd give him more of a B personally
Souperstar59 (9:21:41 PM): hes kind of a hater

Reviews of things

Night at the Musuem DVD-

Ben made me see this with him one night. maybe there will be some wacky special features
but the best part by far was when Joana the junior fell down in the theater looking at me and ben. if theres a video of that on the dvd i recommend purchasing it.

movie- F. (if joanas in it falling down it goes up to at least a B+) i wouldn't recommend watching the actual movie. its the opposite of funny... its... its.. wood.

Boy Meets World- not anything specific. just the show in general. could Shawn BE anymore of a troubled teen. i sincerely doubt it.

BMW- A+

My little sister driving me to school- D-

Harold's History of the Civil War Class for Students attending southern colleges- i dunno yet. ill get back to you.

Lost's whatever season this is- it totally sucks now. when they did the thing where they looked down the hatch into mystery itself basically, that was one of my favorite moments in television. BUT the whole point of the show was the mystery of the others and it turns out the others are just lame.

Lost- C-

The Black Donnelys- im pretty sure its cancelled cause i have to watch all the episodes on nbc.com BUT its my favorite show ever. Olivia wildes in it soo it just had to be cancelled, shes death to network tv shows. she should do porn or something?

The Black Donnelys- A
Future Porn with Olivia Wilde- B+

Canada- Canadas hardly a real country and that war in the south park movie still makes me mad. the us would never ever lose. if grenada fought a war with canada if someone gave me 2.5-1 odds id take grenada (kinda like how i took De La Hoya) im pretty sure Canada doesnt have a real army. just mountys.

Canada- D-

Mickey Wiener- hes getting ass.. just try distracting him in beer pong girls. just try. mickey welcomes foolhardy distraction attempts.

Mickey- B+

Falklands

hey Pierre!! you know what the national anthem of the falkland islands is? God Save the queen. you guys are just never gonna get those back. start another war? thatd be kinda funny.

thats right Pierre.. God Save the Queen.

"get a girlfriend.." says the homeless guy

this homeless guy came up to ethan and i during a lunch date at 4912 today. he was a nice guy we talked a little bit about this and that, then he moved on to some hard hitting questions. he asked my half asian friend ethan if he had a girlfriend. of course ethan price "in it only for the chase" chu said no, no i do not have a girlfriend. the man chuckled then went on to pat ethan on the back and said "get a girlfriend so she can ruin your life" then he was off.

so a warning to all you guys out there (and lesbians, or whatever other glbtq thing applies). a girlfriend= ruined life (according to the mentally unstable homeless guy. who, to me at least, would seem like a reliable source on the topic of a "ruined" life)

cellphone bathroom pictures

you know how some guys like to take pictures of themselves without shirts on with their cellphone camera in their bathroom, with that kinda hard look on their face. i dont really understand it.

ps. im not racist.

im from buenos aires and i say...

Commisisioner David Stern has declared war on the interest of the fans: the "mongols" of our age. Stern went onto say “the nba office is determined to force the Mongols of our age to commit suicide at its gates"

Sterns only problem is that noone else has as hard of time understanding why he wants to alienate the people who make the league possible. in his quest to drive as many people away from the sport as possible, stern finds himself persecuted and alone. much like jesus perhaps? Stern like Jesus finds his greatest supporter is up above. Sterns greatest ally. you it guessed. Allah. stern claims that “Allah is on our side. That is why we will beat the aggressor.”

Later Stern compared his war with fun in the nba to the current stupid war the U.S. is losing in iraq “Remember the valiant Iraqi peasant and how he shot down an American Apache with an old weapon." To me that helicopter is whats great about the nba. its all big and cool and expensive and flashy, and it flys sometimes. stern noticed that the audience finally was getting over the horros at aubrun hills a few years ago. and that just wasnt gonna work for mr. stern.

Stern later said that if the supporters of this helicopter (the former fans of the nba) wanted him fired "he would bring his own fucking rope" his war/hanging himself comments were strange and rambling, as if he had been living in a hole in the ground for the last 6 months. well anyway

i agree with stern. those middle class asshole fans are the true mongols of our age, and steve nash is genghis, (i call kublah) there just jackasses. viva David Stern, who cares what the public wants.

if the spurs it all they should send mr. stern a ring. actually he needs a uniform and a hat, something a litttlle newer and a little more sinister. the hats fine though its sinister enough and kinda vintage.

manu hates the fans too

IM FROM BEUNOS AIRES AND I SAY FUCK EM ALL (the fans)!!!!! -manu ginobli

(starship troopers anyone?) slash its 454 sooo im going to sleep

comedy genre?

i just saw theres gonna be a tyler perry show on fx this summer. why is black men pretending to be fat older black women a fairly popular genre of comedy. its pretty silly and not in the least bit amusing.

big mammas house 1 and 2
norbit
all that tyler perry stuff

if it was ever funny, it certainly isnt anymore.

happy birthday!

happy late birthday dickSON or DICKson (i dunno which is funnier, prolly the 2nd..)

ps. birthdays are really symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little weve grown, no matter how desperate we are that another self will emerge with each flicker of the candles on the cake we know its not to be, that for the rest of our sad wretched pathetic lives this is who we are to the bitter end... happy birthday... no such thing

Dear Peter Branch,

steve broys daughter speaks for every student at gds. if it were appropriate i would have cried all the way through his rendition of how the grinch stole christmas too. stop reading the middle school kids harry potter at the beginning of every school year. noone thinks its cute, you just embarrass everyone. your not our grandfather or even a cute old misguided but well intentioned man. i beg of you, please. stop reading us books. please. noone enjoys it or you.

This is Pierre. he is my arch nemesis.

driving cars in parking lots

theres nothing i hate more than people driving cars fast in parking lots. we fucking get it. youre driving, were not at this moment. just fucking shut up JERK.

Swish! first post by dickson

It’s my inaugural blog entry! Today me and prill went to Barney’s and it was FABULOUS. I think we may go back next week, it depends on whether the employees call us (we left our math, no big). The highlight of the trip was when this guy left the parking lot driving really fast, like “sccrreeeech” (surely more on this later from Zach!...dont fret). T-mes has been wearing lots of under armour lately, I’m not sure why. I think it might be because he likes lacrosse now? He’s a wildcard, so you never know. He laughs at the pain of others. Don’t worry, this is just the first of many posts still to come. On one final note, Mark Schlereth is the man, see for yourself at www.markschlereth.com. Please don’t comment on this post, all comments will just be deleted.

vassar!?!?!

i just heard joe bubars going to vassar. sorry joe...

hbfe

by the way hbfe means hot baja fresh employee. i forgot most of my many readers arnt "chill"

hbfe update/classic t-mes

the HBFE at baja only made me pay 22 dollars instead of 32 for my meal. the hbfe's WANT me.

ALSO temesgan won the cohen family "never have i ever game" at dinner tonight. he hasnt done a lot...

Yo temesgan whats going on? "everything going on, meat going on, patato going on" CLASSIC T-mes

Spider Man Review

I havnt seen it yet.. but i heard it sucks. eric foreman is in it though which is a plus.

Movie: D-
Choice of Eric out of other possible that 70's show characters: A-
Final Grade: C-/C

if confused

my blogs on anadyr summer time. for one simple reason. a very wise man once told me that "for relaxing times make it Anadyr Summer Time" boy did i listen. i dunno if its the drugs or the time. but i feel like Holly Johnson would be proud of my current mood. i hope its rubbing off on all yall.


this didnt end up being as good as i had hoped. thats what she said. zing.

US LAWS=I dont like them

I hate the government. so much. it prolly has a lot to do with the fact that im not allowed in any car for another 18 days and still have another 5 months of court ordered probation after that. but the government isnt all bad, you can still beat your wife in Arkansas and have sex with small animals in west Virginia! here are some of my faves..

In Connecticut you may be stopped for biking 65 miles an hour... im pretty sure thats impossible. even for me. maybe chuck norris?

in Califronia not only is "sunshine guaranteed to the masses" (just in san francisco?) but animals are banned from "mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship." nothings better than watching two squirrels doing it during math class, i feel so bad for kids from cali. they can take their sunshine, ill take my squirrel sex.

Another strange law is that women are "not to drive in a house coat". for me the question is: why let them drive regardless of whether they chose to don a house coat after making some meal or cleaning something. interesting decision.

Im going to Ole Mississippi next year. So i thought id see what i should do to avoid breaking my probation and landing in the "slammer". it turns out it is illegal to teach someone what polygamy is. Now i dont know what i'll with myself on saturday nights my polygamy class has become a huge part of my life.

"A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her." SHIT. THATS MY MOVE! ahhh caps and italics!

holy shit sun of a bitch. its illegal for a male to be sexually aroused or to swear in public. fuck.



No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display, or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two (2) months of age in any quantity less than six (6), except that any rabbit weighing three (3) pounds or more may be sold at an age of six (6) weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500.

just read that. basically One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once. this law was enacted the same year as the civil rights acts.

In Utah it is "It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon." Dont you even fucking think about you terrorist assholes, its a minimum 500 dollar fine. seriously. actually blow up utah, i dont think anyone would mind.

and finally West Virginia should be removed from the Union.

Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
In order to clean up roads not regularly maintained by the Department of Transportation, this law was passed. Not only did this law assuage the cravings of adventurours individuals looking for free meat, it lowered the cost of road maintenance as well.

Bravo department of transportation. BRAVO.

It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.

i guess they decided man on small dog or cat sex was more lawful than premarital sex. that makes sense. small dog sex is wild.

that is all.

Blogs are so lame

You know, these blogs are kinda dumb. Everyone and his half-twin has one these days and they are kinda getting lame. I kinda hate that people think blogs are "journalism" too. I kinda hate that everyone has an opinion about everything too. I think if I read mine I'd think I'm a dork.

-mike

blogs are only lame when they are from either people you dont know, people you dont like, people who are actually lame or people who dont know how to use "your/you're" properly... none of which applies hear ;)

-some bitch ;)

Anonymous said... blogs are forpeople who think they're funny (but aren't), they're just lame

yeah well. i made one anyway.

ps. my room couldnt smell more like weed.

PEACE!