Monday, April 21, 2008

America's Declining Rust Belt Cities. Spotlight On: Cleveland



A lot of people like to talk about how Cleveland is little more than a dilapidated experiment in white flight and failed urban renewal, but I decided to give the “mistake by the lake” a chance. I read this piece from a local Clevelander about the “top 10 things to do in Cleveland before you die”: http://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/2004/09/14/ten-things-to-do-in-cleveland-before-youre-dead/

At first the list seemed simple enough, but then I realized that the list must have been a cleverly veiled challenge when I saw that I would DEFINITELY kill myself before reaching task 5 (a thrilling Saturday morning buying fruits and vegetables at the West Side Market!). A mainstay in Forbes’ top 10 worst sports cities list, Cleveland’s sports teams, despite hundreds of millions of dollars in Cleveland tax dollars toward new stadiums for the flailing clubs, are perpetually awful. I’m not attacking the failing sports teams so much, but the hundreds of millions of dollars thrown down the drain is CLASSIC Cleveland. As far as listless, gray, depressing rust belt cities go, Cleveland’s the pick! Throw in infrastructure that seems like it was drawn by a young Clevelander on the back of their Applebee’s kids menu with a crayon and weather that seems to be intentionally designed to force Cleveland’s hideous population to cover as much of themselves as possible and what you have, ladies and gentlemen, is America’s worst city.

Won't catch me in vans cuz they look like slippers, pimpin'.
-DTC

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Window into the Magnolia State

pretty dark outside resulting in limited visibility. my window is stuck and will not open. that mixed with a lack of expertise results in uncertain humidity and temperature measures.

porn in the truck?

I was driving back from history earlierrr tonight when i saw something pretty peculiar. some hardcore interacial porn on 4 tv's in the truck in front of me. I dont really have a joke to make. I just thought it was pretty strange.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Tuffets Pouffes or Hassocks?

The EU decided today that to remove the PKK a Kurdish terrorist organization from its blacklist, thus unfreezing its european bank accounts. The Court of justice made a "procedural" decision to unfreeze the accounts because it had failed to warn the PKK beforehand. Basically the EU just funded the PKK's war with Turkey. I am obvioulsy not a fan of turks. I dont really think anyone is outside of anatolia is. BUT The PKK needs to chill, turkey isnt big on minorities (see armenian genocide) and arming the PKK is just giving those damned turks an excuse for some more ethnic cleansing.

lastly fuck ottomans. for now on im gonna call the stools either Tuffets, pouffes or hassocks. prolly pouffes.

THE WARPATH (Im Hoping a War of Words Ensues)

Ok im back. and on THE WAR PATH (above)

A rival blog recently emerged http://azeldin.blogspot.com/.

there are so many things i wanna talk about in Zeld in DA HOUSE!! or whatever its called. kiinda like Zach! (to the extreme) maybe? maybe not. im not faulting that really. just everything else.

First of all lets just look at his public display of affection post, where he lets what is acceptable for the public and what is not.

Example One
Sharing a sandwich ACCEPTABLE!
Example Two
Sharing a sandwich on rye bread NOT ACCEPTABLE!
Example Three
Talking in French and/or Portuguese NOT ACCEPTABLE!
Example Four
Complimenting a loved one's stylish pair of pants ACCEPTABLE!
Example Five
Discussing federal spending ACCEPTABLE!


ok so thats the first 5. if its not funny after 5 i dont see why discussing 15 more examples is a good idea.

Ok moving on. lets looks at his thoughts on the navy's best recruitment. i dont feel like copying and pasting the cartoon so just look at it yourself. but basically he doesnt understand why anyone would join the navy just because theyll pay for college.

i dont see what the joke or confusion is. but thats actually exactly why kids join the navy. my cousin is getting out of the navy after a few years of duty later this year. guess why he joined? hes gonna be able to attend college! youre right alex hes a moron for falling for that recruitment strategy.

Do you think kids that can't afford college should just mow lawns?


March Madness? More Like March Sadness.

We have reached the final four and what was predicted by myself to be a perfect bracket has fallen considerably short. In fact, I was so confident my bracket would be perfect that I entered it on yahoo for a chance to win 5,000,000 dollars! Of the million entries, I am ranked in the 12th percentile, meaning 88% of all brackets are better than mine. If this were the SAT, I would get a 760 out of 1600. That would qualify me as being mentally retarded. This truely is March Sadness.


I dont even know what to say. The title is hilariously stupid. hes about as bad at predicting the ncaa tournament as he is entertaining the reader.


ok now just read this

Telemarketer

So a telemarketer called my house yesterday. Usually they ask to speak to my father but instead he asked to speak to Alexander (that's me).
"This is he," I answered.
"Hello Alexander how are you?"
"Rather good and yourself?"
"Good good. Alexander I see that you currently are paying a 6% mortgage on your house, is this correct?"
"No its not seeing as how i don't own a house."

He hung up.

i didnt get it at first. i thought I was missing the joke. then I realized the joke was that the telemarketer thought that he alex was the homeowner instead of his father (who the telemarketers normally call and the true homeowner).

I think the best part is when the telemarketer hangs up!


lastly, THANK GOD someone finally exposed fox programming. Ive never heard a kid at a liberal school like gds tear the fox network apart like that. before this the networks absurd programming was largely ignored. you have opened our eyes.


Lastly he has a hot or not application on his facebook page. (I had to go there to see his blog) next time your checking when his next blog update will be, be generous feel free to give him a 4-6.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Knowledge is POWER

In the bandana code of the gay leather subculture, wearing a white bandana means one is into mutual masturbation.

Magenta Bandana means one is into armpits. yes armpits.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

The movies that make a trip to Northern Africa worth taking

Cry Wolf

Top-shelf psychological thriller featuring Jon Bon Jovi in the role he was born to play. Jovi (a long-haired boarding-school teacher whose cool-factor is paired irresistibly with a heart of gold) competes with bad-boy brit played by Julian Morris (picture Daniel Radcliffe with even MORE raw sex appeal) for the affections of reasonably (and attainably!) attractive red-head. The kids are mean to each other, Jovi follows no ones rules but his own, hilarity and suspense ensue.

Cry Wolf- B
Jovi- A
psychological thrillers on the whole- A+

High School Musical 2

uncomfortable. stop it.

HSM2- D
HSM3 provided that it features some sort of 'tragic' accident that costs corbon blue and zac efron their lives- A-

Pizza My Heart

An isntant made-for-tv classic, Pizza my heart is both gripping and insightful. The epic battle for pizza supremacy in a small New Jersey neighborhood being waged between the Prestolanis and the Montabellos heats up when Joe Montabello and Gina Prestolani slide a fresh pie (their budding romantic relationship) into the oven. To complicate matters, only one of the small pizza joints can become a chain! Will the famous Montabello sauce or the epic Prestolani cheese win the contract?! warning- don't watch on an empty stomach!!
sidenote- theres also a restaurant called pizza my heart...but which came first the movie or the real life restaurant? the chicken or the egg?

pizza my heart- B-
the restaurant called pizza my heart- ?
chicken or the egg scenarios- A-

The Contract

John Cusack and Morgan Freeman hit a collective home run with this action-packed seemingly-made-for-flights-across-the-atlantic thrill ride. Picture shawshank redemption meets must love dogs meets pure, unadulterated excitement. fasten your seatbelts, bitches.

John Cusack- Best actor of all time, standing A+ for life
Morgan Freeman- B, B+ depending on his performance in 'the bucket list'
flights across the atlantic- C

-Dickson Thomas, don't sass me for doin' it.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

prison break: breaking out of prison again?

i just saw an advert for the new season of prison break. How many times have they broken out of prison? judging by the previews it feels like at least 15. with the name prison break i guess the storylines are limited by the premise.

my brain is a shovel, and I will continue to dig- ZP

Friday, January 4, 2008

temperature concerns

It is literally -600 degrees Fahrenheit in my basement right now. I know that seems rather unlikley and pretty outlandish, but at the same time im pretty good at guessing temperatures.

Im sorry i havnt been posting that often, I forgot my usernaame and password for a while.