Wednesday, September 26, 2007

whats the etiquette on that?

im gonna do this segment on the regular cause i dont really know how to be a fuctioning member of socierty. first issue: my roommate has red hair, i dunno what that means for me. What colors should i stay away from? I have a red hat, i am allowed to wear that? I also dunno about orange? should i go heavy blue (reds greatest enemy) and lastly can i eat strawberrys? id love some feedback

also my ra just came in my room and asked if it was my chair in the hallway.. i said no.

BUT IT WAS my chair, FUCK YOU authority!

Monday, September 24, 2007

also

also the animorphs series was filmed by our neighbors that eat tacos only sometimes.. iceman was the main character, i hated those Yeerks! he loved his mom but she just wasnt his mom anymore. She had an alien in her brain! also iceman could turn or "morph" into animals..

for more info check out those booklists they gave us in 2nd and 3rd grade that also had hanson biographies

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Canadian Correspondent David Gold - Spotlight On: Canadian Cinema

Listen Bitches,

While it may not have an outstanding track record in terms of actually producing commercial films (though Black Robe is my shit), Canada has made a significant impact in the movie industry by sneaking its homegrown actors into American films, right under Hollywood's nose. For instance, would you be surprised to know that four out of five actors in this list are Canadian?

Jim Carrey
Ryan Gosling
Ryan Reynolds
Mark Ruffalo
Kiefer Sutherland

If you said Kiefer was the American, you're DEAD WRONG. That distinction actually belongs to Mr. Ruffalo, aka Ted Stewart, Donna's love interest in a "View From the Top", which may be the most criminally underrated film of the past 10 years. Kiefer was actually born in England and raised primarily in Toronto, which really makes the anguished screams of every terrorist he chokes to death seem slightly forced and hollow. In addition, Keanu Reeves, Elisha Cuthbert, Jason Priestley, and Seth Rogen were all raised in the land of maple syrup. So the next time you're deciding which movie to rent, you may want to get the best of borth worlds by picking up A View From the Top, which combines the comedic talents of both Mark Ruffalo and Canadian Mike Myers in a layered story about what it means to find love as a flight attendant in contemporary times. Thank me later.

Keep it nappy or braided up
-DG

alltel

alltel or altell or whatever is trying to sell phones based on the idea that chad is cooler than the other four guys.. was that guy the coolest guy they could find? The only difference between him and the other guys is his hair is died blonde. i mean, i thought that was cool in 5th grade or 6th? i dont remember. they should have gotten somone who is actually cool.. like Samuel l Jackson or Lee Corso who may be the coolest man alive

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

About the poll...

Firstly, i'm appalled at these results. Secondly, who knew 13 people read this blog? NOT ME! Thirdly, why is it possible to change your vote? thats really not how polls work...you can't just change your vote, it makes the poll almost completely pointless. Weird.

-Dickson Thomas Cohen

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

trix

Trix come in balls now? what the fuck is that about.. the rabbit can just have them

Monday, September 10, 2007

Dead to me retraction

ok so first of all Tiger your not dead to me your very much alive

secondly zoe your still alive to me duhhh every though ur farr away, but theres trains and planes and cars, ill see you soon i looove u

and thirdly my family i guess, but no cousins, only the ones i have to love

Saturday, September 8, 2007

New Style of Short Correspondent Dickson Cohen

I'm gonna wear sleeveless shirts all the time now...just to keep people on their toes. Plus if I meet someone whilst wearing a sleeveless tee and prove to be the least bit normal they'll be all "hey man, i thought you'd be weird based on your choice of shirt.". I also considered wearing replica NBA jerseys daily, but I fear that is too big an initial social setback to overcome.

oprah or a corpse?

guys would you rather do jessica alba 10 minutes after she was dead or oprah?


you sick fucks

also- food too salty or too sweet?

When I die

ok so when i die im gonna have a treasure map for everything in my will.. hopefully everyone will be sad when im dead but then theyll be like.. A Treausure map this is fucking awesome

Friday, September 7, 2007

Wing Fanatic

i just ordered wings and a deluxe burger no onions and they said itd be an hour and a half.. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT POSSIBLE.. its like 5 blocks away. F U mississippi f u

More from Canadian Correspondent David Gold

To Whom It May Concern,

The American football season may have kicked off in grand fashion today, but the Canadian Football League has been in action since late June. Some of the noticeable differences between the American and Canadian games are that, in the case of Canadian football, each team uses 12 players at a time, the field is 110 yards long, there are only 3 downs, and nobody cares (the CFL championship, or Grey Cup, attracts about 4 million viewers a year; by contrast, the last season premiere of The View attracted 3.4 million, no bullshit). Americans may remember the CFL from the "CFL USA" era of the mid-1990's, when the CFL created franchises in 7 U.S. cities that all went on to fold or relocate within two years. Ultimately, there was little to no interest in the Canadian game below the border, which means that for the time being you American readers will have to venture up north to watch white people play cornerback and return punts professionally.

Think Before You Fuck With Little Skateboard P
DG

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Call Me and i will be ur bestest friend, but only in the designated timeslots, otherwise dont bother

oook so heres the deal im down to 15 course hours not counting aps which dont count for insurance and being a full time student. and i if i miss one more history class i get an f and that would just be bad. its at 8 which is hard for me to be awake for and i always sleep through my alarm.. sooo if you would please call me between 7-8 here which is like 8-9 east coast time.. actually its exactly 8-9 east coast time.. i really dont wanna fail my best subjest cause i cant wake up so call me if u can or text the more my phone makes noise the better tuesday and thursday... the T days! its easy to remember!

thanks!

im 7039800571! FYI!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

almost famous

i hadnt seen it before its good though, hes like 10 years younger than kate hudson thoough

A-

bioshock-

my roommate has it and it just creeps me out, that might be why im awake-

d-

My History class attendence policy- if i miss one more class this semester i get an f soooo

F

My Bio Class grade projection- yesterday I learned that the other phase of matter is gas! sooo

A eh maybe b+